Start Where You Are: A Solution-Focused Approach
Sometimes, life feels so full of challenges that it is difficult to know where to begin. This sense of being stuck can feel overwhelming, but it is also a natural part of the process. The good news is that we do not need to have all the answers immediately. By shifting our attention from the problem to the desired future, we begin to discover what truly matters.
Article written by: Dr. Petra Müller-Demary
Start Where You Are: A Solution-Focused Approach can be especially valuable when life feels overwhelming and you are unsure where to begin or what to focus on. This is completely natural, and it is all right to feel this way. In my Solution Focus coaching practice, I have found that beginning with small steps – identifying even the slightest sense of “better” – can create the foundation for meaningful change. As a facilitator, I guide clients through this process using questions that open the door to their desired future. Whether we are exploring family systems, structural dynamics, or hidden blockages affecting life energy, the approach is always grounded in curiosity, trust, and a safe space for meaningful change.
“I don’t know where to begin!” And that is all right. Sometimes so much seems to be happening in our lives that we do not know where to start or which topic to focus on. We move forward step by step. My first question to clients who come to coaching sessions is: “How will you recognise that this session has been worthwhile? What will be different?”
You do not need to tell me your entire history. Whatever needs to emerge will emerge. What I want to understand is what the future you want looks like.
“How would you like to interact differently with others and with yourself?” “What will it look like when you are in a good place and able to navigate your life more effectively?”
Start Where You Are
Steve de Shazer, co-founder of Solution-Focused Brief Therapy and one of my teachers, said: “Even when we cannot imagine what ‘good’ looks like, we know what ‘better’ is.” And that is where we begin. Together, we explore your intention and the direction in which you want to move. From there, it becomes clearer which system you may need to look at in order to gain greater clarity. This may be a family system involving members of your family, or it may be something more structural, such as your life energy and what may be blocking it.
Whatever is relevant within your system will emerge. The unconscious often knows more than we realise, and we can work with that. Within this safe space, you can access the wisdom that already exists within you – and within each of us.
Feeling overwhelmed and unsure where to begin is natural when exploring challenges or personal growth. The process starts with a simple yet powerful question: How will you recognise that coming here has been worthwhile? This question shifts the focus from problems to possibilities. Together, we explore your intentions and direction, allowing the unconscious to reveal what needs to be addressed. Whether we work with family systems, structural dynamics, or life energy, the aim is to create a safe space where clarity, wisdom, and meaningful change can emerge. This approach reminds us that even when we cannot imagine what “good” looks like, we can always recognise what “better” feels like – and that is where the journey begins.
To take the first step towards change, we do not need to have all the answers; we only need the willingness to begin. By focusing on what “better” looks like and creating a safe space for exploration, we allow the natural wisdom of the system to guide us towards clarity and resolution. The process unfolds step by step, revealing exactly what needs to be seen and addressed. Trust the journey and your inner wisdom – it already knows the way. Change begins with intention, and together we will discover the direction that leads towards a more balanced and empowered future.
What Is a Systemic Constellation?
Systemic constellations can help you view a situation in which you are personally involved from a meta-position. They can be used as an intervention when you feel stuck and want to take a closer look at what is happening. The process often brings forward surprising perspectives and insights. A constellation is a way of representing the pattern of relationships within a system. These relationships may exist between family members, colleagues, friends, or even abstract elements of our inner world, such as a goal and an obstacle preventing us from reaching it.
What Happens When You Take Part in Systemic Constellations?
The constellation method is an intuitive process in which we transform the inner image we hold of a problem into a spatial representation. The client may choose members of a group to represent the relevant elements, individuals, or functions and assign each of them a specific place in the room in relation to the other representatives. It is also possible to work in an individual session, where the client sets up the system using pieces of paper or objects and then steps into the different positions themselves, experiencing the underlying dynamics and gaining new perspectives.
What Do You Gain?
Systemic constellations offer an opportunity to:
- invite more joy and energy into your life;
- resolve conflicts in your professional and personal environment;
- make coherent decisions;
- develop and implement personal visions and goals;
- connect more deeply with your inner resources and strengths;
- develop greater focus, clarity, and inner balance.
