{"id":3237,"date":"2023-09-06T19:34:34","date_gmt":"2023-09-06T16:34:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ro.solutionsurfers.ro\/?p=3237"},"modified":"2026-07-24T17:24:03","modified_gmt":"2026-07-24T14:24:03","slug":"my-story-as-a-systemic-constellations-facilitator","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/solutionsurfers.ro\/en\/my-story-as-a-systemic-constellations-facilitator\/","title":{"rendered":"My Story as a Systemic Constellations Facilitator"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Article written by: Dr. Petra M\u00fcller-Demary<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My Story as a Systemic Constellations Facilitator <\/strong>began in 1985, when I first encountered this work and was truly amazed. I asked myself: \u201cHow is it possible that I can feel and know something connected<\/strong> to a person I have never met and whose story I do not know?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I simply KNOW who the other relevant people in the system<\/strong> are. I simply KNOW whether I want to move closer or would rather create more distance. I simply KNOW whether I feel comfortable having someone standing behind me and experience<\/strong> that presence<\/strong> as a resource. And it can also be frightening – I simply KNOW. The perception we have as representatives when we stand within another person\u2019s system is still a mystery to me. Over time, however, I have learned how to work with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In 2002, I began my first constellation training <\/strong>at the Syst Institute<\/a> in Munich, with Matthias Varga von Kib\u00e9d and Insa Sparrer as my teachers. The intensive training lasted six years and included more than 120 training days. It took me a little longer because I was already living in Romania and had two young children. Travelling was not always easy to organise, but I was so fascinated by the approach that I remained determined and wanted to learn. I had experienced the healing power of constellations<\/strong> many times as a client. They brought me clarity, lightness, confidence, and inner peace. They connected me more deeply with my inner strength<\/strong>. They helped me make difficult decisions and recover from physical pain and illness. They also helped me live my life with greater ease and joy. This was an experience I wanted to share with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over the years, I have seen many colleagues working with constellations<\/strong>. I admire some of them and chose them as my teachers. Gunthard Weber, Diana Drexler, Shavasti, Stephan Hausner, and Rita Klemmayer are just a few. They helped me develop my own style. My work is strongly influenced by the Solution Focus <\/strong>approach. From Steve de Shazer, Insoo Kim Berg, and Peter Szab\u00f3 – as well as many other colleagues – I learned to trust the client and to see each person as resourceful. Yes, everyone. Combining both approaches brings more resources<\/strong> into the field. In this way, constellations<\/strong> become less heavy and dramatic. Yes, we still look at what has been excluded, and this can sometimes be difficult and painful to see. When we acknowledge what is – the simple facts – healing<\/strong> forces can begin to work. We cannot take pain away, because it is part of life, but we can adopt a different position and bring suffering to an end. We can only heal what has happened. We cannot heal what should not have happened. Accepting what IS can therefore be seen as the first step towards healing<\/strong>. Connecting with our resources<\/strong> and with our healthy core – which is always there, regardless of the trauma we have experienced – can support us in recognising what needs to be brought into the light and then allowing the healing forces to work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have worked with constellations<\/strong> for more than 20 years, and this work has made me humble. We cannot force anything, and we should not dare to do so, not even – or especially – when we BELIEVE we KNOW what the solution should be. Let it go. Our role as facilitators is to create a safe space <\/strong>in which we can open our hearts and dare to look at everything that is present. Our unconscious knows what is relevant and will bring it to the surface. We simply need to step aside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of my teachers said: \u201cRead as much as possible, then burn the books and work from the heart.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today, I work with systemic constellations<\/strong> in both individual and group sessions. In a group setting, you can participate as a client, a representative, or an observer. All three options offer valuable opportunities for learning. We can benefit greatly in our own process when we act as a representative in someone else\u2019s constellation or simply observe. In group settings, I work with concealed constellations. Before we begin, I therefore have a private conversation with the client to understand their intention<\/strong> and identify the relevant elements within the system. Together, we decide what will be set up. When you are chosen as a representative, you know only that you are representing A, B, or another letter. You do not know what you represent. It may be a person or an abstract element, such as a goal. The concealed format helps representatives to be less influenced by their own experiences and concepts. For example, we do not ask ourselves how we should feel when representing the mother. You simply stand within the system<\/strong> and notice what emerges. And when nothing emerges, that is also fine. We work with that. The purpose of the constellation is to support the client in living with greater ease <\/strong>and in being more deeply connected<\/strong> to their inner strength. It is about living with an open heart<\/strong> and allowing the healing forces to flow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the constellation, the client reveals what each person represented and how the process was helpful. The purpose of a concealed constellation<\/strong> is not to keep things secret, but to move our minds and concepts out of the way while sensing the dynamics<\/strong> within a system and working with the energy in the field.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My experience with constellations<\/a> has shown me, time and again, how deeply connected<\/strong> we are as human beings.<\/strong> The prevailing view today assumes that we are independent individuals, separate from one another, each with our own history and experience. This has little to do with reality. We are connected in a much deeper way than we imagine. For centuries, we believed that the Earth was flat. It is time to open our eyes and our hearts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The systemic constellation<\/strong> sessions I have experienced with colleagues have supported me greatly in my own development. Some of these constellations took place 10 or 15 years ago and are still very vivid in my mind. I also use constellation work in my individual coaching sessions<\/a>. In 2015, together with my colleague Rita Klemmayer, I developed an advanced training programme<\/strong> for coaches and therapists<\/strong> on using elements of micro-constellations<\/strong> in individual sessions. We have already delivered this training to colleagues in Belgium, Finland, Switzerland, Romania, and Germany.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What Is a Systemic Constellation?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Systemic constellations can help you view a situation in which you are personally involved from a meta-position. They can be used as an intervention when you feel stuck and want to take a closer look at what is happening. The process often brings forward surprising perspectives and insights.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A constellation is a way of representing the pattern of relationships within a system. These relationships may exist between family members, colleagues, friends, or even abstract elements from our inner world, such as a goal and an obstacle that prevents us from achieving it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What Happens When You Take Part in Systemic Constellations?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The constellation approach is an intuitive process<\/strong> in which we transform the inner image we hold of a problem into a spatial representation. The client may choose members of a group to represent the relevant elements, individuals, or functions and assign each of them a specific place in the room in relation to the other representatives. It is also possible to work in an individual session, where the client sets up the system<\/strong> using pieces of paper or objects and then steps into the different positions, experiencing the underlying dynamics<\/strong> and gaining new perspectives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What Are the Benefits?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Systemic constellations offer an opportunity to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022 Invite more joy and energy into your life;
\u2022 Resolve conflicts in your professional and personal life;
\u2022 Make clear and coherent decisions;
\u2022 Develop and implement personal visions and goals;
\u2022 Connect more deeply with your inner resources and strengths;
\u2022 Develop greater focus, clarity, and inner balance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Learn more about Petra M\u00fcller-Demary<\/strong>\u2019s work in systemic constellations, Solution Focus Coaching, and personal development at petrademary.com<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Explore upcoming sessions, workshops, and programmes, and discover how this work can support you in gaining clarity, reconnecting with your inner resources, and moving forward with greater ease.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Experien\u021ba cu constela\u021biile mi-a ar\u0103tat de fiecare dat\u0103, \u00een ce m\u0103sur\u0103 suntem conecta\u021bi ca fiin\u021be umane. Percep\u021bia \u00een care tr\u0103im ast\u0103zi presupune indivizi independen\u021bi, separa\u021bi unii de al\u021bii, fiecare cu propria istorie \u0219i experien\u021b\u0103. Acest lucru nu are nimic de-a face cu realitatea. Suntem conecta\u021bi \u00eentr-un sens mult mai profund dec\u00e2t ne imagin\u0103m.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3240,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":[],"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueState":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","_VenueShowMap":false,"_VenueShowMapLink":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[80,81,67],"class_list":["post-3237","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-systemic-constellations","tag-coaching-constellations","tag-constellations-facilitator","tag-systemic-constellations"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":3,"label":"Systemic Constellations"}],"post_tag":[{"value":80,"label":"coaching constellations"},{"value":81,"label":"constellations facilitator"},{"value":67,"label":"Systemic Constellations"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/solutionsurfers.ro\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/09\/Wood-Poster-Website-4-2-2.png",800,451,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Solutionsurfers Team","author_link":"https:\/\/solutionsurfers.ro\/en\/author\/marketingsolutionssurfersro2026\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":3,"name":"Systemic Constellations","slug":"systemic-constellations","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":3,"taxonomy":"category","description":"

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